I’m actually feeling really damn suicidal rn.I managed to gain 10 lbs from binging this week, and I am bloated as fuck but still need to go to school tomorrow. I legitimately can’t stop crying because of how ashamed I am. I’ll do a 72h water fast so I don’t feel like complete shit and get some weight off. I can’t believe I let myself get to this point.No clue how I’m gonna leave the house tomorrow.
At this point I keep asking myself If I even want to get better.The satisfaction of being told how much weight I have lost is too great. But if they only knew how many tears I’ve shed hovering naked over the toilet seat, sitting on my bathroom floor, hysterically sobbing while trying to undo the “damage” I’ve done by eating that sad little bowl of coco puffs.